Salaaam Namaste!

Four Sundays ago, as I sat in my new single room in the IIT Kanpur Girls Hostel, and as a whole world of possibilities for the next two years - new friends, new food, new teachers, new subjects - stretched out gloriously in front of me, I realised that I still felt alone.. strangely and totally alone..

But then I remembered.. I have you guys!! U guys who are always ready to share my joys n sorrows, u guys for whom no joke is too trivial to be laughed at and no tragedy is too small to be disregarded.. So here comes a spankin' new Salaaam Namaste, all the way from Kanpur....

Salaaaaaaaaam Namaste ppl!!

I have reached IITK, and have more or less settled down to cutting..er..attending classes. My branch, for the benefit of those vapid readers who read my mails thru' one eye and immediately eject them out thru' the other, is Laser Technology. L-A-S-E-R
T-E-C-H-N-O-L-O-G-Y. If you ever forget that, I will come to wherever you are and beat the stuffing out of you. So there.

Well, that brings us to the news headlines. I'm the only girl in my department, (L-A-S-E-R T-E-C-H-N-O-L-O-G-Y) and also the only girl in all my classes. (In this sem we have 2 core n 2 elective papers, but our core courses are open electives for the BTech, MTech, PhD ppl of all branches, and so the classes r all mixed.) I notice that the boys very rarely take notes. They seem to be thinking that they can copy down stuff later from my book. Are they in for a surprise or what?? Heh heh!! Gimme five!!

Coming to the faculty, they are fucking amazing - and I mean that. One moment they'll be telling stories from the panchatantra to highlight the flaws of the examination system, the very next moment we'll be sent on a hypothetical trip to a vegetable market on Mars to illustrate the meaning of the S-matrix. They quote shayiris to prove theorems, rub their hands in glee when we answer tough questions correctly, and tell us that good scientific thinking comes from the heart and not the brain. In fact, one prof even said "We won't really mind if you take of your clothes and run through the campus at mid-day. All we ask is that you scream 'Eurekaaaaaaaaa!!' while doing it!!"

But hey, hardcore MES-ians, don't you worry. I religiously wear my tryst '05 t-shirt around here, and if you ever happen to hear an IIT-ian telling you that they've heard of a legendary college in Kerala called MES (where intelligence meets creativity) which routinely holds multi-billion dollar tech extravaganzas called tryst and so on, just don't act surprised. That's all I ask.

Much love,

Sangeetha.

PS: Am absolutely cash-strapped, having bought a guitar in a fit of - well, you know, the kind of fits that people have. Oh no - not those fits - well, I'm sure you know what I mean. Will call up only after I start getting my stipend - next month @ the earliest. Ciao!

Its official!!

Salaaaaaaaam Namaste ppl!!

First let me apologise for not having blogged all this while. I was actually waiting for my M.Tech admission plans to crystallize, so that I wouldn't have to end with 'And finally, as of now, I'm utterly unemployed, completely bored, frustrated, depressed, and borderline suicidal... Keep in touch!' :-)

Now, coming to the point..
Yes!! Its true!! At last!! Gimme a hug!! I'm going to IIT!!! Wheeeeee...!!

Ok, enough dancing wildly around the room. Now sit down and let me explain.. (and explanation is absolutely necessary, since those who knew me well and loved me dearly @ school & college tend to ask: "Irinjalakuda Institute of Technology, right?" Grrrr....)

The inside story on this is as follows:
Based on my GATE score, I got an interview call from IIT Kanpur for Laser Technology branch. Initially I was not even considering it as I knew that I would comfortably qualify for VLSI in REC Trichy. But then one day, as we were discussing this @ home, dad said "Even if u did go to Kanpur & get through this interview, I wouldn't let you study there..." When a parent says those magic words, how can one let them go unchallenged?? Within two hours, I had found out the route to Kanpur, and booked to & fro tickets, and arranged accommodation for me and dad. (Yeah. I know his credit card numbers. Memorized them when I was 15.)
This was 2-3 days before the interview. And I barely remembered the full form of LASER. So I dug into my bookshelf and found some untouched optical communication photostats, (Yes! Remember? John Senior! Numerical Aperture! Acceptance Angle! Core! Cladding!!), rolled up my sleeves(metaphorically), and started reading. (I actually prepared well, aided more or less by the fact that the train journey took 48 hours - Karnataka -TN - Andhra - Madhya Pradesh - Rajasthan - Uttar Pradesh! and I had nothing else to do)
D-Day dawned. I took my place opposite a panel of 5 professors. And they asked me questions from every possible subject except optical communication. My answers, of course were also varied, ranging from the simple 'Glub!' to the more erudite 'Spgfftthblikk!!"
Yet the questioning went on and on. At one point, a professor finally started to wrap it up, whereupon the HoD said "No! I haven't asked her physics questions yet!" And on it went. Sigh.
Well, to cut a long story short, I came out, roamed around the awesome campus, and went back home. Two days later, they called and said that I had made it through, and also that I've been offered a teaching assistantship. Yes, I'll be teaching the B.Tech kids @ IIT (I can hear what you're thinking. The standard of IIT will fall. Mwuhahaha. Absolutely right. It is my evil plan to thus make MES the Number 1 Engineering Coll in India. Ssssshh!! Don't tell anyone, ok?)

So there it is.. Hope this time I will be a more successful student than last time!! Classes begin July 22nd. Until then I'm in Bangalore. (Parents have shifted here. J.P. Nagar, to be more specific.)
Well, that's about it from my end..
Signing off...

Old Lamps 4 New...

Hey junta, hope you r all doing good. So am i.. If you call hanging off a very sheer rock-cliff with one hand gripping the edge 'doing good', then yes, my dears, I'm in the very pink of health.. To those who have been attacked by Alzheimer's/Short term memory loss/good ol' amnesia, I'm awaiting the (catastrophic) results of my GATE exam.. And to be frank, I wouldn't at all mind if you promptly forgot this li'l tidbit..
Now, onto more serious things...
I am going to paraphrase, in the next 128 pages, the result of the enquiry committee's investigations regarding the viability of India's nuclear deal and its impact on our relationship with the SAARC countries.
Ha ha! Gotcha! Who cares about SAARC anyway? I'm gonna talk about my blog..
Welcome to my blog.. Old lamps 4 new...
This name has a very nostalgic association for me.. It is the most memorable line from one of the first stories we've all heard as small children... Right you are! It's from Aladdin, that ever-captivating tale of princesses and castles, genial genies and evil magicians, and a cheeky young man and his quest for love, luck and happiness that all started with a lamp. As did my fascination with the wonderful world of stories. A fascination that has accompanied me ever since, and has pinched, pushed, poked, prodded, prompted and propelled me onward in my quest for all things bookish.
Old lamps 4 new appeals to me on a different level also. Exchanging old lamps for new is the calling of an artist. A good storyteller is one who tells an old story as it has never been told before. A good photographer is one who captures a commonplace thing and makes us see it in a new light. A good cook is one who brings out exotic new flavours from the same old herbs and spices that have been in use for centuries.
And so, as I journey on through the roads of Life which have been traversed by millions before me, I will attempt to depict in this journal of mine, the experiences and realisations, temptations and privations that I come across, and I hope that as you, dear reader, read what I write, you will see in each of them, something old, something to identify with, and also something new, something to wonder about…
Bon Voyage!

Almost!

Hello all!
I am most definitely miffed. For I have been unceremoniously brushed aside today. Jilted. Sidelined. Ignored.
And that too, in this era, where feminism is one of the watchwords of the nation, and achievements by women are at their High Tide.

Do you know i almost rode on a truck today?
Yes, almost.

See, it began like this. A courier guy came in a truck to deliver some bulky stuff at our place, but couldn't, because they were laying the road. (As those of you have visited me anytime in the past 15 months or so know, they have been at this for a very very long time indeed. Me thinks they are trying to make it a National Highway or something. Except that our road is around 2 feet wide and is also a cul-de-sac.)
And so, the truck driver asked if we knew anyone who lived on a road that was not brimming with life-threateningly jagged rocks and boulders. Since we have some very gracious neighbours, (readers please note that gracious is an understatement because these people had to store around 144kgs of stuff until our road became a National Highway) I, our odd-job man and the truck driver were soon negotiating our way toward the truck.
At this point I must tell you that until I was about ten years old, my biggest dream was to be a truck-driver(ess?). I used to watch in wide-eyed admiration that Shubha Mudal song video involving a woman trucker. Before that I wanted to be an ice-cream vendor. But we digress.
I was almost rubbing my hands with glee as we neared the truck, and inside my head were images of me gently bobbing along in it, a la the curly-haired rustic in Yun Hi Chala Chal Rahi. But when we reached the truck, I noticed a very ungentlemanly chink in the driver's armour (please get your minds out of the gutter, this is a metaphor.) With a breezy "Walk along, Miss, and stand at the turning please", the man got into his truck and revved the engine.
Seeing that what was under his canopy was really bulky (again, a metaphor), I squared my shoulders and proceeded to leg it. I should mention at this point that our handy man had come on a bicycle, and let alone ask me whether i wanted a lift, he took off towards the destination without so much as a glance in my direction. Hmph! Men indeed!
But then, this bicycle was a very seedy and questionable looking one, and was probably bought second-hand after it was battered during the shooting of Jo Jeeta Wohi Sikander, so i let it go. Now we had me, racing to keep up with a truck and a bicycle, so i broke into a jog (and a sweat) a la Aamir Khan in Dil. (Yes, i know. My life makes you sad) I will have you know that I ran like an Olympic torch bearer, and those men stopped every 10 seconds or so to let me keep up.
Men.
Sigh.
Ok, I've gotta go now. Hey! Is that a road-roller? Can i ride along? Wait for me!

PS: Feedback is welcome. Do comment.

Aaaaaaaaaaargh (Contd.)

As every one who has ever attempted to write humour knows, embellishment (or Imagineering, as a friend calls it) is an integral part of spinning funny tales. As the old adage goes "Don't let the facts get in the way of a good story!"

However, this blog post literally wrote itself. I've barely touched the original sentences, except, in some cases, to actually make them more readable (sad but true..)

Say hello to some of my prospective suitors..
(What follows are excerpts from some e-profiles that I've received, with my devilishly funny comments on the same in bracketed italics.. Enjoy!)

Hi I don’t know how to express about my self its quite difficult task.
I am a little bit shay talk about my self. Down to earth grate respect to elders well motivated and carrier (tiffin-carrier??) minded. God fairing person simply I am looking for a girl with same things (bizzare, that) . I brought up in several countries (you don't say?) with a grate Hindu, Tamil, Brahmin background.
I think I am bit soft person that others say.
Good Luck for your surch
(It grates, to say the least..)

We are of orthodox and somewhat moderate also.
(And very vague also?)

I am the highest GENIUS.
(No, its not Hawking. I checked.)

SEND FAMILY AND PERSONAL DETAILS WITH RECENT PHOTO TO ....
(You leave my family outta this, hear?)

I AM VERY SHORT TEMPERED.
(Tellin' it like it is!)

IN MY HOUSE A SWEET PET ANIMAL CAT IS THERE (NAME IS PUSSY PUTTA).....
(I decline to comment)

LOOKING FOR A LIFE PARTNER WHO SHARE MY SADNESS & HER HAPPINESS THROUGHOUT OUR LIFETIME...
(A scary new dimension to equal-sharing in relationships)

I am considering working in a Shipping company from last 5 years.
(Phew! Almost missed that!)

(WARNING: Greek Mythology-like stuff ahead!)

my family four members. my self my sister married. (Don't even ask!)
and father and mother are loving. (er...ok)
i am working wipro bho soulation (trying to blur the name of the company for security reasons?)
at present i am working in night sifits only who have interested and havingfath on me running good family life can conduct us. (and if i conducted you part-time, would that make me a semi-conductor?? sorry, couldn't resist.. ;)
i am not going to be all ways night sifit i am trying day sifit also. (day AND night??? come on!)
sometime my life partner should understand and live with us. (so, part time it is! yay!)

i am intrested to give life for poor family.
(Suicide case?)

MY YOUNGER FATHER IS A MANAGER..
(I hope, sincerely, that he means his Chittappa..)

MY SISTER GOT MARRIED 5YEARS BEFORE SHE WAS BORN IN ENGLAND.
(Due to the different time-zones? Probably just due to a full-stop)

i work as lecturer my mother is an house wife. My father was an retired teacher
(One of those 'Education-ruined-me' types. I hope.)

Seeking for a Girl from good family willing to work.
(An entire family in one fell swoop! Talk about value for money!)

Now i am Alone. I have one Elder brother. Now only he married.
(I actually feel a little sad for him.)

I am Jovial typed person.
(Not a stereo-typed description, this one!)

I want bride straight forwarded.
(Looking for a female or an email?)

My bride should takeing care of my parents as his own parents.
(Looking for a male??)

I am a person of liking modern thoughts in mind and following traditional values.
(So, in a word, two-timer?)

I'm from Chennai, when we meet that time i explain about myself.
(Nice try!)

I am an active.
(As in Grammar? Chemistry? Electronics? Engine Oil?)

My Golden words:
Plan Purposefully,
Prepare Prayerfully,
Proceed Positively,
Pursue Persistently.
(There were seven more such paragraphs of solid gold. I deleted them all. You're welcome.)
I like COMEDY very much. By sensitive humor sense, i can understand everybody's thoughts. I am not telling the heroism, just telling the character. AT THE SAME TIME, I WANT TO BE A SIMPLE AND POWERFUL PERSON IN OUR SOCIETY.By GOD'S GRACE, definitely it will become true.That's all. Please don't add EXTRA fittings while thinking about me, if any.
(modesty personified, aye?)
About My family ( including you):
Meaning of LOVE
With Affectionately,
(Name Withheld. For obvious reasons. And so are the comments. For i couldn't find any printable ones.)

My name is (withheld), Looking for a match which will match all the criterias form both the sides and looking for a great feedback.
(Definitely an engineer. No one else can spin a yarn like that.)

I AM RESPECT AND ATTACH MY RELATIVES.
(Thank you. I shall download them as soon as I receive them.)

i am serving in city union bank responsible for cash operations
(Say no more. I do.)

PS: In exchange for my blood, sweat, tears and other body fluids, all I ask for is your comments..

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!

(A post born out of pure frustration)
Who says we haven't achieved anything in 10,000 plus years of existence? Society, my friends has perfected and polished, for good measure, the fine art of harasing the cr*p out of marriageable young girls.
Yes, dear friends, I am one of the hapless beings in the above category and by early next year, you will be witnessing the finale of the (very bizzare) game of Kaun Banega MeraPati.

How in the name of God did this madness begin? Lets see...
Long long ago, when the daughter of one of the first cavemen grew up, her father scanned the horizon time and again to see if any cave-boy was coming to carry her off. And when the horizon loomed large and empty as ever, a crease appeared on the father's brow. (I am NOT making this up) And thus society's first disease was born.

'Singleness', lets call it. This disturbing condition in an otherwise healthy young woman has ever since been viewed as a disease - a dangerous disease, mind you, second only to Bubonic plague. (By the by, don't you think Bubonic is too cheerful a word to be linked to this deadly disease? I mean I really like the sound of this word. Here, listen to it. Bubonic. Bubonic.)

Hmmmm.. where were we? Ah, yes, I was detailing my personal problems and you were lending me a patient ear. This big scourge of my life began with a very irresolute decision by my parents, you know. One of those resolutions you make, just to put your mind to rest. Something like "I will make better tea tomorrow." (Men, move on. I don't expect you to understand this. If you DO, though, i would be VERY interested to hear from you. Mail me. Now.)

So, to carry on with my woes, I especially find it very trying to speak to any well-wishers now. These people, who only a few years ago, were pinching my rather substantial cheeks and mouthing 'coochicoochicoo...' or some other such inanity, now convolute their faces into sympathetic expressions that the bad-news-bearing-Hindi-filmi-doctors of yore would've been proud to own.
"Tch! Tch!" they go, assuring us that they will do all they can to help, and finally conclude with "Well! Uparwale ke ghar mein der hai, lekin andher nahin." (Loosely translates to: In the house of God, there may be red-tapism , but never power-cut.)

And the tumour grew. Now, we get unsolicited postcards from utterly unfamiliar people.(When I find out who gave our address to them, someone is going to be very, very sorry for themselves)

Some of these are bewildering. There is one, in particular, about which, after three days of straining our eyes, we made the path-breaking discovery that it had been written in English. Now all we have to do is find out what it says.

The other day, a freedom fighter called us and offered to plonk me down into a 'good' household. A freedom fighter, for God's sake. FREEDOM FIGHTER. The irony's about as subtle as a ton of bricks.

Oh, the wicked wickedness of society. We can't do much about it, I guess. Sigh.

But, on the brighter side, there is humour even in THIS! Yes indeed, as we shall see in my next post: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh! (Contd.)
Don't miss it!!

PS: Comment, goddamnit!

College Musings...

To begin at the beginning, I'm working as a lecturer in one of those innumerable concentration camps in Tamil Nadu, that guilelessly go by the name of Engineering Colleges.
Yes indeed, I teach Electronic Circuits-I and Principles of Data Communication to certain hapless souls who are still trying to figure out what mistake they are paying the price for.

And, folks, this is a FINE college, one of the FINEST in the land, not least because:
1. You get fined for walking around with gilt on your face ON THE DAY OF THE DEPARTMENT FEST.
2. If you don't button your cuffs, the department will staple them shut for you and FINE YOU the cost of the stapler.
3. You get fined for eating inside the classroom, stepping on the dais, not shaving, and wearing anything but fire-resistant crocodile-skin boots to class.

Interestingly though, you don't get fined for talking during break-time. That, dear reader, is so lowly an offence that the students only have to spend an entire day standing silently, without so much as a movement, and gleefully trying to calculate the money they have saved by not committing a fine-worthy act.

Another thing, the number of arrear papers is phenomenally low. I don't know whether to attribute this to the Rs100-per-paper exam fees (interestingly, it is also compulsory to register for ALL your papers, current and outstanding, EVERY semester - and I hear that Anna University is shifting its HQ to the Cayman Islands from next semster onwards); or whether the good results are because of this Undertaking that students with arrear papers have to sign, and which i reproduce below verbatim for your gentle perusal.

I, ______________, am having ____ arrear papers. I understand that I have a lot of resposibilities and have joined this Institution to fulfill my parents' wishes. I respect my parents and their feelings. {Transcriber's Note: Mwuaahahaa!} I will prepare well for the model exam and score good marks. I will also follow the instructions given by my staff members and HOD
to clear all the papers. If my performance in the model examination is not satisfactory, I request you to take necessary action.

(Signature of the Student)

Wait! Its not over yet! The unfortunate student who has signed the above undertaking also gets
his photograph taken, holding the Undertaking, wanted-criminal ishtyle, and then he is warned
that if he does not keep his word, the photos will be sent to his home. If this isn't blackmail, then I don't know what is! I mean, what's next? A dungeon, replete with ball gags, whips and paddles? A li'l spank-spank-spank if you've written your exams baaaaaaaaaaaaaaadly?? ;-) Well, before I let my imagination run away with me, lets move on..

Beloved reader, my blood curdles when I imagine that the end-product of this ridiculous system of education; the vapid, lobotomised geek who is only galvanised by fear, will be the future of my country, will be building bridges and homes, running the economy and taking far-reaching decisions on national policy.
Something to think about, perhaps?

PS: Do take a minute to write a comment. Its all we poor bloggers get, you know.. ;-)