College Musings...

To begin at the beginning, I'm working as a lecturer in one of those innumerable concentration camps in Tamil Nadu, that guilelessly go by the name of Engineering Colleges.
Yes indeed, I teach Electronic Circuits-I and Principles of Data Communication to certain hapless souls who are still trying to figure out what mistake they are paying the price for.

And, folks, this is a FINE college, one of the FINEST in the land, not least because:
1. You get fined for walking around with gilt on your face ON THE DAY OF THE DEPARTMENT FEST.
2. If you don't button your cuffs, the department will staple them shut for you and FINE YOU the cost of the stapler.
3. You get fined for eating inside the classroom, stepping on the dais, not shaving, and wearing anything but fire-resistant crocodile-skin boots to class.

Interestingly though, you don't get fined for talking during break-time. That, dear reader, is so lowly an offence that the students only have to spend an entire day standing silently, without so much as a movement, and gleefully trying to calculate the money they have saved by not committing a fine-worthy act.

Another thing, the number of arrear papers is phenomenally low. I don't know whether to attribute this to the Rs100-per-paper exam fees (interestingly, it is also compulsory to register for ALL your papers, current and outstanding, EVERY semester - and I hear that Anna University is shifting its HQ to the Cayman Islands from next semster onwards); or whether the good results are because of this Undertaking that students with arrear papers have to sign, and which i reproduce below verbatim for your gentle perusal.

I, ______________, am having ____ arrear papers. I understand that I have a lot of resposibilities and have joined this Institution to fulfill my parents' wishes. I respect my parents and their feelings. {Transcriber's Note: Mwuaahahaa!} I will prepare well for the model exam and score good marks. I will also follow the instructions given by my staff members and HOD
to clear all the papers. If my performance in the model examination is not satisfactory, I request you to take necessary action.

(Signature of the Student)

Wait! Its not over yet! The unfortunate student who has signed the above undertaking also gets
his photograph taken, holding the Undertaking, wanted-criminal ishtyle, and then he is warned
that if he does not keep his word, the photos will be sent to his home. If this isn't blackmail, then I don't know what is! I mean, what's next? A dungeon, replete with ball gags, whips and paddles? A li'l spank-spank-spank if you've written your exams baaaaaaaaaaaaaaadly?? ;-) Well, before I let my imagination run away with me, lets move on..

Beloved reader, my blood curdles when I imagine that the end-product of this ridiculous system of education; the vapid, lobotomised geek who is only galvanised by fear, will be the future of my country, will be building bridges and homes, running the economy and taking far-reaching decisions on national policy.
Something to think about, perhaps?

PS: Do take a minute to write a comment. Its all we poor bloggers get, you know.. ;-)